her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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