Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
Randomize
