I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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