roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
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