I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Randomize
