oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
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I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
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