Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
