last night i told the bartender i only have 3 days left to live so i wouldnt have to pay for drinks
this morning i woke up with a nothing but a pair of what i believe are fairy wings on - and the bartender in my bed
he thinks ill be dead by monday and still came home w me.. WTF?
messed up. what color are the wings?
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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