Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
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