yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
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