do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
last night I used snow as a chaser
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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