U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
My balls are so social today.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
