SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
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