Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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