I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
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