I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
