I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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