I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
