i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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