i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
I am naked and annoyed.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Randomize
