I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
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