What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
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