She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
