and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Randomize
