I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
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