Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
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