Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
