i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
She announced her abortion via fbk
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
