you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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