you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
This show inspires me to have sex in space
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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