Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
