sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
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