At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
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