I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
