He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
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