So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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