and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
