He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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