you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
