So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
Come see our sink grown plant.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
