I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
