I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
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