my sisters under your porch take her home
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
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