I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
Slut skills are useful in every country.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
Randomize
