I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Randomize
