I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Randomize