he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
