Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
