omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
