No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
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