Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Randomize
