Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
