why didn't you poke me back
I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
