***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
