put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
