I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
