so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
then he tried to convert me to islam
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Randomize
