Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
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