She said her name was "party"
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
