This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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