I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
