He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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