is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
Randomize