i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
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