I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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