So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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